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Doctor: I'm Sorry,
Mr. and Mrs. Humperdink, but your daughter is beyond hope.
Mrs. Humperdink:
Is she going to live, doctor?!
Doctor: I am afraid
not. She only has a few hours at most.
Ang: Man this sucks.
Mr. Humperdink:
Darling, we would just like you to know that we love you very much.
Ang: Thanks, dad.
I love you guys too.
Doctor: Any last
words?
Ang: Yeah. My dying
wish is to be a Hell's Angel.
Mrs. Humperdink:
You mean the biker group?
Ang: Sure, why not.
Mr. Humperdink:
Well then Satan rest your soul, sweetie.
(And with that the
monitor flatlines and Ang dies.)
MEANWHILE, IN HELL...
(Decree and Mandy
are out of jail now, but Decree is really pissed at Tierra.)
Decree: That was
not funny at all. I should have you demoted!
Tierra: *rolls her
eyes* Yes, boss.
Mandy: *glomps Tierra*
Thank you for saving me, friend!
Tierra: Uh, you're
welcome sweetie.
(There is a flash
of sharp light and Ang appears out of nowhere, landing in the cauldron)
Decree: What the
@#$%?!
Ang: Alright, it
worked!!!
Decree: Who are
you, kid?
Ang: My name is
Ang.
Tierra: And what
could a young thing like you possibly be doing here?
Ang: My dying wish
was to be a Hell's Angel! But I never thought it would possibly happen!
Decree: Um...I think
we should feel flattered or something.
Tierra: Yeah...uh...do
we?
Decree: I *guess*.
But what are we gonna do with a girl who died of Mad Cow's Disease?!
Ang: So do I get
any halos or wings or powers or anything?
Decree: First of
all, we don't do halos.
Tierra: Yeah, too
many accessories clutter.
Lark: Secondly,
you don't get wings unless you're a *real* angel, and sorry hun, but just
makin a wish don't make you one of us.
Ang: And I suppose
I don't get any powers either? :(
Tierra: *whispers
to the others* Aw, c'mon, there's gotta be *something* we can do! We can't
just break the poor girl's heart like that.
Decree: Why not?
Lark: Decree! I
agree with Tierra. Just give her some crappy useless talent that she can
entertain herself with and leave her alone for the rest of the day.
Decree: Well Tierra's
the expert on useless. Go ahead, give her something.
Tierra: -_- Fine...
*casts a short spell on the girl*
Ang: ...What did
that just do?
Tierra: *hands her
a dollar bill*
Ang: ...? What am
I supposed to do with this?
Tierra: Do what
you feel like doing. You'll know what that is.
Ang: ... *conceals
the bill in her hand and when she opens it again, the $1 has changed into
$5* Wow! That's so cool! I've always wanted to do that!
Angels: *sweatdrops*
Tierra: Is that
what you meant?
Decree: Somehow
I don't think so...
Ang: ... I'm gonna
go buy ice cream.
Decree: Ice cream??????
Ang: Yeah! Chocolate.
^_^
Lark: .......Ice
cream?????
Angels: *think for
a moment*
Ang: ...You've never
heard of ice cream? Don't you guys have an ice cream truck around here?!
Angels: ...no.......
Ang: *pout* I'm
beginning to think that this is a fate worse than death.
Decree: *smiles*
Those are fun.
Mandy: ACK! A BUG!
*goes to step on it*
Ang: No! *grabs
the little insect from under her shoe* Don't kill it!
Mandy: *sweatdrop*
Why not?
Ang: Because killing
is bad!
Angels: *gasp* *sweatdrops*
Decree: Honey, I
think we have a thing or two to teach you about being bad...
Ang: *gulp*
Decree: First off,
killing is casualty. For us it's ok cuz then we can make the hell demons
our slaves. ^_^ For the rest of the world, it's cruel and unnecessary and
it makes you look foolish. Ok?
Ang: *is confused*
Decree: And also,
we have to do something about those clothes...
A BIT LATER...
(Ang is sitting
on a chair wearing a mini, makeshift Hell's Angels uniform. Mandy has made
her a shredded "Trainee" patch out of soggy cardboard and puffy paint.)
Ang: It's itchy.
Mandy: It's wool.
^_^
Ang: *sweatdrop*
Mandy: Oh, let's
have a staring contest! *stares at Ang*
Ang: *getting freaked
out* Um...eep... *sweatdrop*
Mandy: *blinks*
DAMN, FOILED AGAIN!
Tierra: This isn't
working...this girl is definitely more trouble than she's worth.
Decree: I agree.
We should probably take her to His Highness and ask what to do with her.
She's not evil enough to belong here.
Tierra: You're saying
we should go to Satan and ask what to do?
Lark: *ears perk
up* SATAN?! WOOHOO, LET'S GO! *zooms out*
Decree: *sweatdrop*
Maybe we should go catch up...
Tierra: *double
sweatdrops* Definitely...
Mandy: *skips out*
mwehehehehe...
(So the angels leave, and now Ang is unattented)
Ang: *looks at her dollar bill* This is boring. *looks in the direction the angels went* I have a better idea... *evil smile*
SO A BIT LATER...
(The angels have
approached Satan's throne room and are waiting to be let in)
Lark: *banging on
the doors*
Decree: Stop that!
Wait until His Highness addresses us...
Lark: Nuh-uh, sorry,
I can't wait that long! *pushes the doors open with a bang*
(The angels are
just in time to catch a glimpse of soggy cardboard scurrying around a corner.
Apparently, it was holding a small green animal...)
Decree: Oh sweet
evil! That was Ang!
Mandy: I knew I
shoulda tied her to the chair...
Lark: AND SHE TURNED
SATAN INTO A FROG! I'LL KILL THE BITCH! *starts running after her*
(The rest of the
angels follow, but it is too late, they can't spot her in the twisting
halls of the corridor. I'd explain the whole door trick - ya know, where
one person goes in one and comes out another and everyones being chased
and blah blah blah - but as you can see, that would take too long)
Ang: Good, they're
finally off my tail! *looks down at the frog she is holding, a.k.a. Satan*
Heh heh, this was a lot more fun than playing around with currency. I can't
believe that mumbling a bunch of crap would actually work!
Satan: Ribbit!!
(I am not amused!)
Ang: Pipe down bullfrog!
Now, I need to think of a place where they won't be able to find me...
*runs ahead a little further, and turns down a dark corridor*
*She approaches
a white orb of light, a bit smaller than she. Carefully she touches it
- it's like ice, but it gives her a sense of security inside* Well, might
as well! *jumps in and...*
*THUMP!*
Angels: *looks down
upon her* Oh my!
(Ang has landed
right in the middle of Heaven!)
Eternity: Another
one?!
Ang: Huh?
Dream: She sure
is dressed oddly... Perhaps I should run to Queen Shell and find out what's
going on.
Lindsay: *sigh*
Why bother. Maybe she's another angel.
Ang: What??
Cherry: Are you
our next?
Ang: Um...sure why
not! ^_^
Eternity: *sigh*
I think I'm getting a headache... Lindsay, please take care of this. I'm
off to take care of more pressing business. *she leaves*
Lindsay: *snaps
her fingers and with a cute, pink, fluffy little poof a list appears* Now
then, hun, what's your name?
Ang: I'm Ang! ^_^
This is my pet frog Sa-
Satan: RIBBIT RIBBIT!
(No, don't tell them!)
Ang: Uh, Sa...r...ah.
My pet frog Sarah.
Satan: RIBBIT
>_0 (Gee thanks...)
Lindsay: Alright,
and what powers do you have, Ang?
Ang: Powers?
Lindsay: Yes, what
type of magic do you do?
Ang: *pulls out
her dollar bill* Wanna see a neat trick? ^_^
Angels: *look a
bit confused, but shrug and nod*
Ang: *"magically"
changes the $1 into a $5 just like she was taught* Ta da!
Angels: *sweatdrops*
Ang: ...You didn't
like it?
Angels: *clap slowly
and usurely*
Ang: *takes a small
bow* Thank you ^_^
Lindsay: Well that's
really nice, sweetie, but if you're going to be an angel, you have to have
something a little better than that. *whispers a short prayer and Ang starts
to glow a bit pink* There, that should do it. For starters, try turning
this potted plant into a melon.
Ang: ...huh?
Lindsay: *sigh*
I knew we should've gotten those training codes updated...just do it please.
Ang: *shrug* *does
what she's told and the plant transforms into a watermelon*
Lindsay: Good.
Ang: You guys are
wimps! What a bunch of fruit cups! I'm going back to Hell where I have
some *real* power!
Cherry: *a little
ticked* What, messing with pennies?!
Ang: *sticks her
tongue out at them* >POOF<
Cherry: *mumble
mumble brat*
BACK IN HELL...
Decree: Ugh, this
is terrible! How could we loose track of a 9-year-old?!
Tierra: She was
more like 10.
Decree: WHATEVER!
Ugh, and not only that, but she has disgraced our overlord!
>POOF!<
Ang: HAHAHAHA, weaklings!
I have some *real* power, now! *shoots fireballs from her hands at the
group*
Angels: ACK! *duck
behind a couch*
Mandy: The glerkins
are attacking! Activate the balistic missles!
Tierra: We don't
have any of those. *gives her a weird look*
Mandy: Oh. Then
we're screwed. *nods reassuringly*
Decree: Wait a minute,
how did you do that?! We didn't give you any of those powers! Unless Tierra
screwed up. -_-*
Tierra: I did not!
Ang: Unfortunately
for you girls, I'm a bit smarter. i went to Heaven and those airheads
gave me my own powers! Fwa ha ha ha ha!
Decree: Hey, she's
pretty good after all! *stands up from behind the shield* look, kid, lemme
tell ya somethin. We're evil. And you're acting evil-
Tierra: *mumbles*
Cuz she's such a little brat... -_-
Decree: -so there's
no need for us to be fighting.
Ang: But what about
taking over Hell?
Satan: Ribbit ribbit.
(I think not)
Ang: *hangs head*
Okay, fine... *puts Satan down on the floor*
Satan: Ribbit! Ribbit!
(I'm free, I'm free!)
Lark: *picks him
up* hee hee...
Satan: *sweatdrops*
riiiiiibit... (Damn...)
Lark: Maybe if I
kiss him, he'll turn back into the Prince of Darkness! *kisses him*
Satan: *shudder*
Lark: *kisses him
repeatedly* Tee hee! *kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss*
Decree: *garbs Ang's
wrist* Now then, we have some more business to take care of...
>POOF!<
Lindsay: Not again...
(The smoke clears
and the angels are all shocked to see Decree!)
Angels: *gasp!*
Cherry: *gasp!*
It's that obnoxious little brat!
Angels: *donk*
Decree: Alright,
normally I wouldn't even be caught dead seen near this place because
the pink is *such* a tacky decor, but you girlies have made a little mistake
and we need to get that fixed, ok?
Lindsay: ...huh
what now?
Decree: *rolls her
eyes and points to Ang* You gave my little friend here some *very* dangerous
powers. Not too smart on your part, but that's to be expected. Now then,
if you'd just revoke whatever it is you cast on her and blah blah blah
we can be on our way and we don't have to spend any more time with each
other than necessary. *shudder*
Lindsay: Fine with
me. *prays again and ang begins to tingle blue* There.
Decree: Thank you.
*starts to leave* *pause* And you mention this to no one.
Lindsay: Of course.
Decree: *nods once
more and returns to her realm*
Dream: ...and the
day gets stranger and stranger...
Eternity: *coming
back in* Did I just miss something??
Angels: *sweatdrops*
No...
SO THE NEXT DAY,
IN HELL...
(Lark, after insisting
on kissing Satan the Frog Prince over and over, finally used her own powers
to change him back - he ran away before she could kiss him again. Then
Ang was tied to a chair and left by the cauldron, just so she couldn't
get into any more trouble. Now Satan's angels are sitting around her, trying
to decide what to do.)
Tierra: I am so
*sick* of babysitting.
Decree: As am I.
However, there's no way to send her anywhere outside of Hell. Being with
us was her dying wish.
Mandy: *sigh* If
only there were some way to make her more tolerable...like if she were
older...
Decree: *lightbulb*
That's it!
Mandy: Huh?
Decree: We'll make
her older! Than she'll be more mature and more fun to hang out with-
Mandy: And better
at staring contests!
Angels: *donk*
Ang: Older, eh?
But how are you gonna do that?
Angels: *fall over
laughing*
Decree: *composes
herself and pours some cauldron water over Ang*
(As if by magic
(well duh what else would it be) Ang changes from
brat to bombshell - she becomes older and obviously more mature looking,
with long legs and shimmering hair and a nice rack to top it all off)
Decree: Ta da! Puberty
in a pot ^_^
Ang: *looking over
herself* He~y! Nice!
Decree: Thank you
^_^ If you've noticed, I've also changed your clothes.
Ang: *running her
hands along the silk of her red dress* I love it! ^_~ ...Oh, but one question.
Decree: I hate questions.
Ang: *blink blink*
Decree: *sigh* If
you must...
Ang: Do I still
get to keep my powers? You know, the two I had?
Decree: No.
Ang: Why not?! They
were crappy anyway!
Decree: Ever see
that musical "Into the Woods" where the witch exchanges her powers for
beauty?
Ang: No.
Decree: Well that's
what you just did.
Ang: But that wasn't
my choice.
Decree: Tough.
Ang: Can I be untied
now?
Decree: *sigh* Might
as well...
Mandy: *unties her*
Hooray, now we can play that game of croquet. ^_^
(And so, Ang is
transformed and will now be staying with the angels...in a room with padded
walls... *cough* Anyways, things calm down for a bit after that. But as
the warm season approached (um, it's always warm in Hell...*cough*
whatever) something new began to appear on the horizon... But until
next time...)