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Lark: Welcome everyone
^_^ Today I have with me a very special guest to celebrate my new column.
Sitting right next to me is the Prince of Darkness himself, Satan.
Satan: *fake smile*
Hi, Lark.
Lark: Welcome, Lucifer.
I would like to start off by asking you a few simple questions concerning
your occupation.
Satan: Ask away.
Lark: Do you decide
who gets into Hell?
Satan: *scoff* No,
I have underlings to do all the work for me.
Lark: So then what
do you do?
Satan: I sit on
my throne bossing people around and looking hot and important.
Lark: *dreamy sigh*
A man who knows how to run a place. That's very admirable.
Satan: Er, thanks...
Lark: Now then,
this is something I'm sure every girl wants to know - do you have a girlfriend?
Satan: Yes, she's
my whole world. She's a Heaven's Angel, her name is Cherry-
Cherry: ew, I'm
not your girlfriend! Did you take a severe blow to the head?! I hate you!
You're evil!
Satan: Eh-heh *sweatdrops*
Okay then...
Lark: So then what
do you look for in a girl? *gets ready to jot it all down*
Satan: Well, I do
take a liking to blondes, especially ones with long legs... *winks at M*
M: Ugh, leave me
outta this, I'm just the narrator.
Satan: I also like
intelligent girls, none of those Britney-wannabe airheads. Oh, and they
have to like fire.
Lark: *smiles to
herself* *ahem* Now then...have you ever been to Tony's Slam Dance Hut?
Satan: Uh, no, but
I hear good things about it.
Lark: Yes, it's
a rockin' good time.
Satan: I'll remember
that for future reference...
Lark: So then, wanna
go out Thursday night?
M: Lark! Stick to
the subject at hand!
Lark: Er, right.
^_^ What about these luaus you throw on Tuesday nights?
Satan: Oh, those
are fun ^_^ Just to give the captives a break, every Tuesday night we have
a luau, with some great roasted pig, grass skirts, pineapples, the works.
I think they really appreciate it. And I'm the King of Partying Down.
Lark: Ever wear
a coconut bra?
Satan: *major sweatdrops*
N-n-no..... *shifty eyes*
M: *holding the
incriminating photos* Heh heh...
Lark: Where do you
live?
Satan: You know
where I live... *mumble mumble unfortunately*
Lark: But the people
out there don't! So answer the question.
Satan: I live in
a big palace on the outskirts of Hell.
Lark: Does Hell
even have boundaries?
Satan: No, it's
as big as the rest of the universe. Except only a tiny fraction of it is
used for us to live on. The rest is molton lava.
Lark: Would you
ever consider trying to settle someplace else?
Satan: No, I like
where I live.
Lark: One final
question - what are your plans for the takeover of Earth? Any aspirations?
Satan: All I can
do is guide you angels, and hope that you do a good job. But don't worry,
I know you won't fail me.
Lark: Of course
I won't. *wink*
Decree: I have a
question.
Lark: M, can she
do that?
M: It's up to you.
Lark: Alright, you
may ask a question.
Decree: What do
you think of this pathetic excuse for a story?
M: *looks a bit
insulted* I knew I shouldn't have done that when Decree was involved...
~_~
Satan: Er...I like
this story so far... except the part where Cherry rejected me...over and
over and over... *bitter frown*
M: You better wrap
it up Lark.
Lark: Alright, until
next time, this is Lark saying Satan's hot, stay safe, good night.