Hell Hath No Fury Like An Angel Scorned

Eternity: I've got a good feeling that this'll all be over soon. Queen Shell will help us with our quest, and before long all the world will be turned good again ^_^

*They continue skipping*

MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN...
(The evil angels are hiking along an uncharted mountain path, battling bushes and vines and large rocks)

Decree: *pulls twigs and leaves out of her disheveled hair* Lark, are you *sure* this is the right way?!
Lark: *snaps out of her pleasant daydream where she and Satan are >CENSORED<* Huh?
Decree: When I asked you directions to Queen Shell's throne room, you said it was just up the mountain, and when I asked you which path, you said the left one.
Lark: I don't remember that.
Decree: Probably cuz you were too busy drooling over His Highness! *mumble grumble moron...*
Lark: Oh yeah! ^_^
Decree: ...this isn't the right way, is it?
Lark: ...no...
Decree: *sigh* Just a minor set back... We'll just keep going up and we'll get there eventually. C'mon, let's go...

BACK TO THE GOOD ONES...
(Eternity, Lindsay, and Dream are now at Queen Shell's throne room, waiting for the guards to let them in.)

Eternity: Queen Shell will surely help us. ^_^
Guard 1: Alright, go on in, the Queen has granted permission. *cough*
Eternity: ...Okay.
(They enter)
Queen Shell: Who seeks the almighty wisdom of Queen Shell?
Eternity: Hi Shell! ^_^
Shell: Oh, hey Eternity. What brings you here? Hopefully you have come to worship me and make a sacrifice with expensive gifts...or a goat...
Eternity: Um, actually, Shell, we came to get your help. You see, we have a captive of Hell who rightfully belongs in heaven, and we need his power to summon the Lord of Good and Evil.
Shell: Oh him? You're fighting over him?! Um, he's not much of a catch...and he hardly has any money...
Eternity: Shell! I'm not looking to date him! We need his powers!
Shell: Oh, right. *ahem* Well, I'm sorry, Eternity, but there's nothing I can do for you. The boy has to make up his own mind as to which side he will join.
Eternity: You mean there's *nothing* you can do? No spell, no potion?
Shell: No, but...
Eternity: Yes?!
Shell: I'll go to Heaven with you for two days. If I can find a loophole in that boy, then maybe there's a chance. But it'll cost ya.
Eternity: Anything!
Shell: ...I want expensive gifts. Diamonds, emeralds, tanzanite... *goes on for another hour*
Angels: ^_^;;
(So Queen Shell joins the angels and they fly off back to Heaven)

MOMENTS LATER...
(After much effort, Hell's Angels make it up the hill)

Decree: Mwa ha ha! We've made it! *huff puff*
Lark: *wheeze* Ha ha!... *pant* ha...
Decree: ...Tierra, why aren't *you* out of breath?
Tierra: I *flew* up.
Decree: *sweatdrops* 0_0
Tierra: *shrug* *files her nails*
Decree: No matter... *she leads the angels to the gates of Queen Shell's palace* Guards, I seek Queen Shell of Purgatory.
Guard 1: Oh, are you friends with those other angels?
Decree: Huh?
Guard 2: Queen Shell just left with the other ones. The cute little blonde one and her friends. Sorry, you're too late.
Decree: You mean to tell me that I hiked all the way up that mountain, through mud and bushes and bugs, just to find that Queen Shell isn't here, that she is assisting those flouncy prissy Heavenly bitches?!
Guard 1: Yup, looks like it.
Decree: URGH!!!!!!!!! *throws flames at the guards and hautily descends*

UP IN HEAVEN...
(Eve is sitting with Evan, giving him food and medicine)

Eve: I'm sorry about what happened, but you're safe now. You'll summon the Lord of Good and Evil and spend eternity in Heaven with us. ^_^
Evan: Who is this Lord again?
Eve: He is very powerful indeed. They say he has been dormant for billions of years, and only when the angels find someone with enough power to call on him can he be summoned to do the bidding of his summoner. If you can gather up enough power to call on him, we can turn all the world into good forever, and there will be no more Hell.
Evan: Sounds like a plan to me. As long as I'm not hit on by the gay guy...
Eve: *sweatdrops* You mean Kaindell?
Evan: Yeah...doesn't he have a boyfriend anyway?
Eve: Oh yeah, Zallery. Me and him and Kain used to always have candle parties together ^_^
Evan: *multiple sweatdrops* Whatever...
>POOF<
Eternity: We have Queen Shell!
Queen Shell: *looks around* So where is he?
Lindsay: Oh good, Eve, glad to see that you have the boy! Was it difficult?
Eve: Not at all. ^_^
Dream: Great! *skips around*
Shell: *looks at Evan* He's the almighty summoner?!
Angels: *nod*
Shell: Oh good God... How am I supposed to work with that drooling thing?!
Evan: Hey, I don't drool!
Shell: Ew, you better make my trouble worthwhile!
Angels: ^_^;;;

IN HELL...
>POOF<
Decree: Ugh, I *cannot* BELIEVE this!!!!!!! All that and we come up empty handed!
Mandy: I take it you didn't get what you wanted?
Decree: Of course not! I need a plan to get Queen Shell on our side and destroy those stupid Heaven's angels. Mandy, I need you to create a spell so treacherous that those whores will be lured in and trapped so that I can do my bidding. Disguise yourself and take this lantern. Then ascend and gain the trust of the angels. Place your newly developed spell on the lantern so that you can catch them and when they are out of our way I can start training the boy. Then the world will be ours! MWA HA HA! *thunderbolt*
Mandy: Uh...I can't do that.
Decree: Well...@#$%. Alright, new plan... *goes off to think*
Lark: Um...our prisoner looks a little...lifeless...
Tierra: Of course he looks lifeless, he's dead!
Lark: Maybe we should feed him...
Mandy: Maybe he already ate one of my cupcakes.
Lark: *goes to fix some food, but winds up drooling in it because she's dreaming about Satan*
Tierra: *shakes head* You two are hopeless. *makes a sandwhich and puts it in front of the prisoner* Hey, wake up, I made you something...
Evan: ...
Tierra: *poke poke* C'mon, my food isn't *that* bad!
Evan: ...
Tierra: *poke* *prisoner's head falls off* Ack! *gasp* It's a decoy!
Mandy: Huh?! Lemme see! *pulls off an arm*
Tierra: *sweatdrops*
Mandy: OMG, you're right!!! Decree's not gonna like this at all...
Decree: *coming back in* Not gonna like what?
Tierra and Mandy: *hide the arm, head, and dummy behind them* Um...nothing!!!
Decree: Okay...
(Decree leaves the bumbling pair alone to take care of other business- which requires a phone call to their Lord of Darkness)
???: Hello?
Decree: Your Highness...
Satan: Oh, hello Decree. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Decree: Sire-
Satan: If this is another call complaining that you broke your precious nail, I don't want to hear it.
Decree: No, it's nothing like that! We went to seek Queen Shell this afternoon and she wasn't there. She went to help those stupid angels up above, and we don't know what to do.
Satan: Decree, you're the all powerful head demon for Hell's sake! Do I have to do *everything* myself?
Decree: I-
Lark: OOOOOOOOOH, IS THAT SATAN ON THE PHONE?!?!?! LEMME SAY HI, LEMME SAY HI!!!!!!
Decree: *annoyed sigh* Alright, hold on, Lark wants to say hi... *hands the phone to Lark*
Lark: *trying to be seductive* Why, hello, Lucifer...
Satan: Hi, Lark. How are things?
Lark: Well they'd be a lot better if you were here instead of Decree. She's a meanie *pout*
Satan: Well I'm sorry, but I'm a very busy guy! It's tough work being evil!
Lark: I know, I know.
Satan: Alright, now put Decree back on the phone...
Lark: Alright, buhbye honey! Kiss kiss! *hands the phone back to Decree and passes out*
Tierra: OMG! *she and Mandy drop the fake parts and run over to Lark* *slaps her lightly* Lark, Lark, wake up!
Mandy: *pokes at her with her staff*
Lark: *comes to* Ohhhhhhhhh my gosh, he is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy... *drool* *dreamy sigh*
Tierra: *kicks her and goes back to trying to put the dummy back together*
Lark: Hee hee hee...
Mandy: Eh. *shrugs* *follows Tierra*
Tierra: *watches Mandy sew* Wow, you're great with a needle, Mandy!
Mandy: Heh heh heh... *steps back to survey her work*
Tierra: *sees the arm sewn on where the head should be and vice versa* Um... *sweatdrops* Lovely...
Decree: I know I am... *stops and looks at the interpretive art* What in all things evil is *that* thing?!
Tierra and Mandy: ... ^_^;;;;
Decree: Where is our prisoner!?!?!?!?
Mandy: He got away while I was baking cupcakes...
Decree: *snaps* FOOLS! I can't trust you two with *anything*! *snaps her fingers and immediately Mandy and Tierra's clothes are changed into unflattering orange prison jumpsuits* Garbage duty!
Tierra: Oh gross!
Mandy: This jumpsuit makes my butt look big!
Decree: Tough!!!!! *storms away*

BACK UPSTAIRS...
(Queen Shell is observing Evan eat through a double mirror, while she and the other angels are lounging around in the secret room)

Shell: I gotta be honest with you, girls. This boy has very little hope. I mean- look at him! He's ill-mannered, can't dress, probably poor too...
Lindsay: Don't underestimate him, Shell. The summoner is supposed to have great power!
Shell: And in the most unlikely of places. Well, then, I suppose I could help...just a little. I'll let you in on a little secret- the summoning doesn't just happen, the Almighty Summoner has to say a certain phrase first.
Eternity: I've never heard of that.
Shell: Well it's true.
Eternity: Well what's the phrase then?
Shell: Uh...I can't tell you, you have to guess...OH, I got it! Charades! Okay, ready? *holds up a finger, indicating first word* *points to her eye, accidentally poking herself* Ow...
Eve: Hey, no talking in charades!!!
Lindsay: I...
Shell: ... *sweatdrops* ......................................................................... >.<
Eternity: C'mon, c'mon!
Shell: *indicates "sum" and "man" with telepathy*
Lindsay: I summon...
Shell: *dances "I'm a little TEA pot"*
Lindsay: I summon...tea?
Shell: >_0 *shakes her head and tries it again*
Eternity: Oh, *thee*! Alright, I summon thee...
Shell: *makes a circle in the air*
Eve: Oh...
Shell: *points up*
Eve: Lord...
Shell: ......................................................................................*signs "of"*
Eve: Of...
Shell: *trips as she is about to get out the last word* Oof!
Eve: Now we have to start over cuz you talked!
Shell: Oh God.... *she tries again, and after several more attempts, they get it*
Lindsay: I summon thee oh Lord of Power!
Shell: Finally!!!
Eve: That's a little...corny.
Shell: Yeah yeah, well this was made up millions of years ago, what do you want from me?
Eternity: Now we'll be sure to win!
Lindsay: *decided to turn her attention back to their specimen and sees that he's choking* Oh no! *runs out and perform CPR*
Shell: Ew, I wouldn't touch that thing!
Evan: *regains conciousness* Heh heh heh...
Shell: ...I feel for ya Lindsay, I really do...
(Thus, Shell returns to her room to think of a plan for the hopeless...)
 

 

Until next time...